– A Catholic Priest and Rabbi were in a car accident. The Priest made the sign of the cross. The Rabbi did the same. Later, the Priest said, “Rabbi, I noticed after the accident, you made the sign of the cross. What was that about?” The Rabbi said, “Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.”
Dad laughs at his joke.
Dad’s laugh is loud and contagious. As a child, I used it as a tracking signal to find him when I got lost.
– It was one of the first high school reunions. It was in the gymnasium at the Victoria High School. We were all there. They had a cocktail bar and I was on the far side of the room.
– She came in with her husband and stopped at the door. She said, “I really don’t see anyone I recognize but I know Sandy Ormiston is over there somewhere. I just heard him laugh.”
– She came over and waited for me to laugh again and said, “I maybe could forget your face but I couldn’t forget that laugh.”
– I can’t remember who that was.
Like my father, my sneeze can shake our brick house and my laugh is the sounding of a fire alarm.
My laugh is so loud it gets me in trouble. It prevented a former yogi roommate from achieving enlightenment, for which I received yogic wrath. It is guilty of waking newborns, scaring toddlers and irritating bitter, nasty strangers.
– Has your laugh ever got you in trouble?
– I don’t give a shit.
I went to the movies with Dad once. It was a matinee showing of My Big, Fat Greek Wedding at the University Cinema with him and Kristin. There were couples and small clusters of people spread out in the almost empty theatre. The force of the Ormiston laughter had every head turned in our direction. It was too dark to see the malice in their eyes.
– When we owned the Coachman Inn, I used to be in there and the window would be open in the summer time and you’d here me laugh. This Indian came in. He sat at the bar and ordered a beer.
– When I laughed, he said, “I heard you from the bus stop. I had to come in here to see who it is.”
– After that, George came in every night after work. Him and his son lived just up the road.
George told Dad a story.
– They took this big cedar log to Denmark for the museum. Him and his two sons were carving an authentic Indian canoe.
– He said, “You know Sandy, it was a big log. We’d start at eight but then people would arrive at ten and start talking to us and we’d get nothing done from then on for the rest of the day.”
– He said, “I wasn’t going to be there til I was a hundred.”
– He said, “We came in on the Sunday with a chainsaw and just roughed it. We just got rid of the bulk.”
– He said, “We still had a lot of hard work to do.”
– The curator complained about him using power tools. George said, “I didn’t use any power tools. What are you talking about?”
– He said, “It was a white man’s magic stick.”