‘Luck be a Lady’

–       Barren daughter.

He calls me.

–       Jesus! Your meds cost $500 a month.

I say.

–       You could always pop me off.

He says.

–       Smother me with a pillow when I go to bed.

–       You sleep on your good ear. You wouldn’t hear me coming.

–       Just say I was smothered by a Shih Tzu.

I laugh.

–       I’d sure miss your pension.

Dad’s never been much of a gambler. His father was; so he isn’t.

He buys Lotto Max every week though. The numbers are a configuration of birthdates.

–       I’ll run away with a twenty-two year old mail order bride.

He said when he was younger.

–       I’d cry if I won now. Twenty years too late.

–       I’d die of heart failure from the shock of it.

He says.

–       You and Kristin would be laughing at the service.

–       Fifty million this week. I’ll have to run away before you declare me incompetent.

He says.

–       I know where you’d be.

I say, pointing at the high metal fences of the nursing home on West Saanich as we drive by.

–       Terrible girl. I’m taking you out of the will.


–       Oh yeah. You already have it.

I am joint tenant on the farm.

Dad’s accountant told me it’s time to contact the lawyer and officially become Power of Attorney.

Nervous, I tell Dad what he said.

–       Okay.

He says.

That was easy.

–       Thank God I had you late in life.

He says after I’ve put on his shoes, turned on the TV and brought him the paper with his glasses and some tea.

–       Lucky for you I’m barren.


About Morbid Optimist

My name is Katryna Mary Brooke Ormiston. I am 35 years old and after living in Vancouver for a decade, I am returning home to my 81 year old father’s hobby farm on Vancouver Island to care for him in the final stages of his life. This blog is to document my journey, process my experiences along the way and hopefully share and feel connected to a community beyond the three and a half acres I find myself on. A message in a bottle in the cyber-sea.
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5 Responses to ‘Luck be a Lady’

  1. misslillies says:

    So you’re barren like her? He says to me

  2. Oooh wowza this is some good writing. If your dad were in a fiction piece, I’d never believe it. So amazing he is real. Makes me want to meet him.
    – Karen

  3. Dana Gaskin Wenig says:

    Hi Katryna,
    I just found your message in a bottle and I’m busy catching up. I’m a writer and your writing inspires me.
    My father is aging quickly and lives far away. I go to see him every six months now, but I can’t hold the everyday care position for him, I wish I could. His memory is going, he is more appreciative than he was when I was a kid. This process you are going through, I am going through, there’s no equal, is there.
    Thank you for writing, for putting the paper in the bottle, corking it, and setting it in the water.

    • Dana, Thank you for finding me. I can’t imagine trying to help Dad from long distance. I feel for you. I am fortunate as I don’t have children of my own and am still able to go to Vancouver from time to time. We are all doing what we can. Best wishes for your journey and writing.

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