Cunning plan 435.
After long debate, I managed to negotiate the following signed contract without the need of weapons:
DATED: NOVEMBER 6TH, 2015.
I, SANDY ORMISTON, SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I WILL ABIDE BY MY PROMISE TO HAVE A BATH ONCE A WEEK WHETHER I NEED IT OR NOT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY REGULAR SUPPLY OF GINGER AND ICE CREAM.
I REGRETFULLY ADMIT TO CONNING THOSE NAIVE ENOUGH TO REGULARLY BUY THE CON THAT I WILL “TAKE THE BATH TOMORROW” OR ANOTHER DAY AND THAT SUCH CONNING WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN, AND REQUEST THE BIG GUY UP THERE ACKNOWLEDGE MY REPENTANCE WHICH WILL, OF COURSE, TIP THE SCALES IN FAVOUR OF A PASS THROUGH THE PEARLY GATES.
SANDY ORMISTON NICOL DRYSDALE